Entry: dilemma Thursday, February 07, 2008

this is a tough day for me.  a case i have been investigating at work presents new materials/evidence that lead to only one person.  what is the case?

it has been a bad bad habit for me to look at histories in computers.  blame it on allan's affair a few years back but i just cannot help myself when in front of a computer.  anyways, at school, there are about 8 computers for the teachers to use.  they have been arranged back to back with one row's monitor clearly seen from the hallway and the other row, privately facing its back on the walls.

anyways, a few weeks ago, i found out that the first computer from the row that couldnt be seen from the hallway was quite fast.  i was then trying to download Patayin Sa Sindak Si Barbara from youtube. 

last tuesday, i decided to use the same computer.  it was a bit irritating as it was not as fast as it had been from the last time i used it.  that kind of gave me time to look around [think: history scanning].

there i found sexual videos from youtube and not just your ordinary boy bangs girl video, most of it were gay porn.  i really do not have anything against this and whatever prefernces they have sexually should really not concern me.  but the fact that they have been watching in the school and using the same computers that the children use [we only have 7 students thus 8 computers] makes this my responsibilty.

sigh.  anyways, there is only one guy who uses this computer regularly.  the vidoes were opened only on Tuesdays and he is the only one who is at school on Tuesday mornings,  and it just so happens that  i have long ago made a judgement call [that he is gay] which nobody believed except for allan.

the whole thing is upsetting my stomach he he.  i know i have to address this issue but i:

a. do not want to do a one on one thing as i have not caught the guy red-handed
b. and even if i did catch him on the act, i would still have reservations because this is something that changes someone's life [ for better or worse.... no idea here]
c. think doing a one on one thing would hurt this person very much knowing that he's been in the closet for this long already
d. am not just a head teacher, i am also their friend, their ate.

in the end i decided to just do a memo. [ i don't think i can handle myself well in a group meeting, i might give something away. ] kaso lang there was a problem with the printer so wala munang memo. 

maybe tomorrow


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